I finally had to face it – I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my weight loss. Yesterday was my anniversary. I spent a lovely day with my husband. At the end of the day, I decided to broach the subject of my weight. I feel disgusted with myself for wasting nine months of the year without losing any weight. I know it’s my fault. I’m not many excuses. But I am asking for help.

My dear sweet husband, who loves me the way I am, understands how this torments me. He gently points out that I don’t push myself. And he’s right. I don’t. It’s not that I don’t want to work at it but I just don’t have whatever it is to make me stay on track. If I don’t get feedback – lose a pound or feel better – I end up making excuses and set myself up for failure. What will make me take that final plunge into dedication to diet and exercise?

His plan – to workout with me and push my limits where I won’t do it myself. I am wary of it because I don’t want to cause any problems between us. Am I just kidding myself that he can help me where I can’t help myself? I have to be willing to listen and follow his lead without the excuses. I want to replace the “I’m too tired” with “I’m ready for the next set”. But I’ve got to find the motivation and that’s where I hope he can help.

I have talked about meals and exercise but I am not doing what I should do – follow through. This is a painful cycle I put myself through. I knew when I started out writing about this that I had been down this road before. I had hoped putting it into words would force my hand. But apparently not. So here’s where I use trust. The one person in the world that I trust the most is going to get the test of a lifetime. I hope he’s up to it!