If you’re wondering where I have been and what I have done, here’s the scoop. I had a case of serious holiday blues. I know many people find it difficult to handle the holidays but I couldn’t get a grip on things for a while. Starting around Thanksgiving, my mood plummeted. I had trouble coping with every day life. And knowing that the holidays were coming whether I was ready or not made it worse.

I did speak to my therapist. She’s been my confidante since the early 1990’s when I was going through a bitter divorce. She probably knows me as well as anyone. Realizing that there was nothing I could do to change the circumstances of the situation (very long story), I had to do something quickly or be sucked under by the wave of depression that was threatening to drown me.  Then I read a quote by Lao Tzu:

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

Believe it or not, that simple quote helped me put things into perspective. I had lived in the past – all the losses and hurt that were pressing in on my mind. I needed to let go and live in the present. It was not an easy thing to do. I still miss those people who are no longer here – family and friends – but I need to honor their memories and move on. I need to let go of the pain from being separated from my children (part of the long story). Wherever they are and whatever they do, I am here to support and love them.

That led me to believe again that I could lose weight once more. On Christmas Eve, I made the pledge to start counting calories and exercising – like I should have done all year long. No sense in living in the past. I’ve been at it now for six days and I’ve lost 2.5 pounds. It’s a start. A new start for me.