Back to the treadmill, to walking indoors, light weight training and whatever else I can manage. I’ve been able to keep up workouts for a couple of days a week. Work is less stressful so I am feeling better at the end of a day. Coming home and strapping on tennis shoes doesn’t feel like such a chore. That’s the good part.

Why does it take so long to get in shape and so little time to lose any benefits once exercising stops? I know it takes weeks to build up the good feelings from exercise. Each time I begin I want to stop. I hate the feeling of tiring myself out. Muscles fatigue and total exhaustion always go with the start of an exercise plan. I need to push myself through this point. I start down the path with every intention to work my way towards that feeling of euphoria when exercise takes you over the top. I’ve never gotten there so I am hoping I recognize it if/when it happens.

Back to food journal entries on a regular basis, reading the Jillian Michaels emails with some intention of trying to follow the wisdom of her advice; back to weigh ins and treadmill routines. Back to committing myself to making my life better. I have wasted a year trying to talk myself into doing this – now I have to do it.

Life is short. Health is precious. I need to place a value on those words and make it part of my everyday thinking and living the life I should. I have been my own worst enemy in the battle of weight loss. I’ve allowed myself too many excuses, too many ways to opt-out of making changes. IT’s up to me and only me. If I don’t work my way back to healthier habits, it’s just not going to happen. I’ve proven that time and time again.

I’m trying to work my way back…