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Working My Way Back

Back to the treadmill, to walking indoors, light weight training and whatever else I can manage. I’ve been able to keep up workouts for a couple of days a week. Work is less stressful so I am feeling better at the end of a day. Coming home and strapping on tennis shoes doesn’t feel like such a chore. That’s the good part.

Why does it take so long to get in shape and so little time to lose any benefits once exercising stops? I know it takes weeks to build up the good feelings from exercise. Each time I begin I want to stop. I hate the feeling of tiring myself out. Muscles fatigue and total exhaustion always go with the start of an exercise plan. I need to push myself through this point. I start down the path with every intention to work my way towards that feeling of euphoria when exercise takes you over the top. I’ve never gotten there so I am hoping I recognize it if/when it happens.

Back to food journal entries on a regular basis, reading the Jillian Michaels emails with some intention of trying to follow the wisdom of her advice; back to weigh ins and treadmill routines. Back to committing myself to making my life better. I have wasted a year trying to talk myself into doing this – now I have to do it.

Life is short. Health is precious. I need to place a value on those words and make it part of my everyday thinking and living the life I should. I have been my own worst enemy in the battle of weight loss. I’ve allowed myself too many excuses, too many ways to opt-out of making changes. IT’s up to me and only me. If I don’t work my way back to healthier habits, it’s just not going to happen. I’ve proven that time and time again.

I’m trying to work my way back…

Weight Loss at a Standstill

I knew this would be hard but it continues to amaze me just how hard it is to lose weight. As I continue to read various weight loss articles, I keep going through the mental checklist:

  1. Get enough sleep – check
  2. Eat breakfast – check
  3. Eat small meals throughout the day – check
  4. Eat slowly – check
  5. Chew gum to avoid eating mindlessly – check
  6. Drink more water – check
  7. Exercise – check

So where’s the weight loss?

I am stuck and can’t seem to budge. I need to find the kick start. I weigh myself to make sure I’m not gaining weight. I watch every morsel I put in my mouth. I keep walking on the treadmill. It’s frustrating.

I can’t eat any less. My body will start hoarding food to protect itself if I drop my calories too low. The only other thing I can do is exercise harder. Time to ramp up on the treadmill and weights. I guess I’m not pushing myself hard enough. Even though I feel like I have just run a marathon when I get off the treadmill (even though it’s just 30 minutes), I have to do more.

Getting older sucks. I never had this problem when I was younger. I could eat anything I wanted and not gain weight. Then each year it seemed I gained a little more weight and I didn’t do anything about it until now. But that’s the past. I’ve got to keep motivated or I will always be this way. And the thought of that makes me very unhappy.

Tomorrow, I will try to do the floor exercises and the weights. I still am not ready for daily rounds on the treadmill. But I am going to conquer this weight loss standoff. I will make this weight loss happen.

Okay, now I need to mentally gear up for this change in routine.

 

Exercise Can Grow on You

I am proud to say that I came home today and worked out right away on the treadmill. Yay for me! I do have to say that I the mini Snickers I had today had an influence on that decision. Okay, two mini Snickers… and a mini Milky Way bar. I hate to admit it but I had a craving that I felt I had to satisfy. Better to eat a little chocolate than wait until I couldn’t resist it anymore and eat too much chocolate.

But a good thing that did happen was after I worked out on the treadmill, I still had enough energy to do some floor exercises. I guess that I am starting to get a little of that extra energy. I can’t say that I feel fantastic but it doesn’t wipe me out when I exercise. I’m not out of breath in the first five minutes. I do get winded after a while but I am still working up to extend my workout. I’m really still at a beginner level. But it is better than when I started.

I can’t remember how long ago it was when I exercised regularly. It really has been years. Not just a few years but many years. When I had children at home, my regular day-to-day activities kept me active enough without formal exercise. Then working full-time, I fell into a pattern of plopping down on the couch after work, too exhausted to do anything. That has changed. And I feel better for it.

I’m not sure how long it will take until I start to see real progress but I’m sticking to it. I know that at my age it will take longer. My metabolism has changed. Hormones that once kept things chugging along smoothly are slowly being depleted. I’m going to fight it every step of the way.

Let the fighting begin.

 

 

New Workout, Old Joints

After the first workout with the dumbbells, I found that the joint pain may not start right away. The next day my joints ached like nothing I haven’t felt. There is something to doing these in the correct form. I was trying to read the exercise so I knew what I was doing. Instead I should have read first, then do the exercise. I didn’t realize that the point of the elbow could have pain, but apparently it can.

I needed to have a day off to give my muscles and joints a break. It seems that the achiness doesn’t set in for 48 hours. After applying heat, then ice – repeat as necessary – I found some relief. Today, not feeling the pain that I did yesterday.

Tomorrow, since it’s the weekend, the goal is to do the exercise early and get the benefit throughout the day. It always sounds like a good plan. I’m not an early morning person but if I don’t make it first thing in the morning, I will exercise tomorrow. That’s the goal – keep up the exercise, no matter what.

There are plenty of times when I still think that I don’t need to do this or I don’t want to do this but I that’s why I am writing this blog. I keep reminding myself that I must do this. It’s not an option. Growing older is not optional so if I want to be a healthy old person (not ready to call myself old yet), I need to get myself healthier.

Having events that I plan on attending is another motivator. There is a college reunion that I am going to which is not too far in the future. No one would recognize me in the current state my body is in. So I need to remind  myself that if I want to feel that I look good this is an essential part of the plan.

Keep working towards that goal!

Working Outside

After a couple of weeks of exercising I felt up to working outside. I felt good and the weather was great – sunny, high 50’s – nice for mid-March. I started to clean up the front yard. Since we live on a corner lot, our yard gets plenty of trash blown into it. I was determined to clean up the winter’s worth of debris in one fell swoop. Oh my aching shoulders. I need to remember moderation in everything.

Walking on a treadmill is not working out the other parts of my body. It’s time to look at other avenues for workouts. You just don’t know how weak you are until you try to use muscles that you haven’t used for a long time. My shoulders were burning by the time I finished. Instead of spreading out the clean up, even over the two days of the weekend, I had to do it all at one. Well, it’s done and so are my shoulders.

I don’t believe in the “no pain, no gain” type of exercise. Once I hit pain, I used to just stop. I need to listen more closely to my body. I’ve put heat on my shoulders. Now I’ll do ice. I can feel the ache as I type. Okay, lesson learned. Don’t try to do the whole thing at once if your body is overtaxed and screaming at you to stop.

At least I have one more day left of the weekend. Hopefully, the aching will relax and I can find other exercises to build up my shoulders. Time to look up an exercise to work out my shoulders the right way, in a day or two.

I hope to end the weekend on a positive note.

After the Snow Event

So I was all prepared to have tons of snow keep up in the house for days. The electric company warned about extended power outages. I had all the necessary supplies. My husband was prepared for clearing the snow away from the sidewalk and driveway. And then the “snow event” was a “no event”. It did snow but it was gone in a matter of hours. Today, no one would know it had snowed yesterday.

What does that have to do with my weight loss? I figured that I should wait and save my energy should I need to help with the clearing of the mounds of snow. Well, you see how that turned out. But what happened is that I broke my routine. And it was so much easier to try to convince myself today that I didn’t need to get on the treadmill. I was already settled in from work. I could just relax. And then I realized – the beginning of the excuses. I got up and changed into my workout clothes immediately.

While I was in mid-workout, my husband walks in the room and asks “Having fun?” Really? Is it not evident that I do not like this one bit? I would much rather be doing anything else. How do people like this kind of exercise? But I know that I have to get in shape and this is the method I chose, so on with it.

I’m still eating well and not snacking during the day. So I am surfing the web to find other outlets to distract me. This evening I found that there are downloads of music, games, and a book that are totally free until March 15th. I will use these to pass the time if I start thinking about snacking.

Snow or no snow, I have to stick to my routine and work on building that habit so it becomes second nature. I need to come home, change into workout clothes, and get on that treadmill. It’s a promise I have to make to myself.

Developing new habits is hard work.

After a Good Night’s Rest

There must be something to this mind-body connection. After doing my “meditation” (it’s an art I have to practice), I was able to fall asleep rather quickly. When I finally awoke, I had slept nearly nine hours! And I didn’t wake up once. That’s quite an accomplishment for me. Usually there’s a three o’clock awakening, for no reason at all, and then I have trouble falling asleep again. Not last night. There’s no magic formula here. I’m just letting my body do what it needs to do – and my mind didn’t getting in the way.

When I got up, I stuck to the promise I made to myself that I would get on that treadmill first thing – before I had a chance to talk myself out of it. Before going to bed, I had downloaded an iFit program to use for my morning workout. Jillian Michaels has a whole set of iFit workouts that I can program on this treadmill. I started with the beginner workout.

Jillian Michaels Workouts
Jillian Michaels Workouts

I was glad she took it easy on me. Exercising first thing in the morning is not my thing. Actually, any exercise is pretty new to me. I have spent the last 15 years trying to avoid it at all costs. My husband enjoys working out. To me, it just feels like work. Anytime in the past when he would coax me into going to the gym, I always felt like I was going to die before we had even gone through a whole workout routine. At least this way, no one else is watching and I can look awful and not compare myself to anyone else.

I have two more days until my next weigh in. I don’t want to anticipate anything. If I don’t lose any weight, I can handle it as long as I haven’t gained any. That’s my biggest pitfall – relying on the scale to dictate whether or not something good is happening. I have to keep focused on the other things too. When I start to feel that clothes are fitting better, looser, and not cutting me in half at the waist line, I will feel successful. I just need to keep reminding myself, the numbers don’t tell the whole story.

Time to start relaxing before bedtime. Not everything has to be done every day. Tomorrow is another day and I can start all over again and do the things that need to be done and let the little stuff go so I can find time to relax and enjoy my life.

Tomorrow – A day of rest.

 

First Time on the Treadmill

Oh my word! As I write this I am still out of breath. I finished my walk on the treadmill and came downstairs to blog about it. Pardon me while I sweat. My heart is pounding out of my chest. What did I expect? I don’t know but I sure didn’t expect to have my butt kicked by walking on a treadmill. My feet are tingling from being trapped into walking shoes and forced to keep pace on that diabolic machine. My workout clothes are sticking to me and I feel like a sweat ball.

Hang on. I’m going to lie down on the floor for a few minutes…


Seriously, I had to lie down on the floor to catch my breath. Wow.
Really. Out. Of. Shape.

But I did it. Good for me! I need to stay motivated. I have the proof that I worked out (besides the sweaty clothes and the dripping wet hair).

Treadmill screen
The workout recorded on the treadmill

I have to keep reminding myself that this is only the beginning. If I don’t stay motivated, I will stop like I have in the past. I texted a friend and told her about my accomplishment. She texted me back “U rock! Proud of u!” Now that’s the kind of friends I need. If you don’t have those kinds of friends, comment on the post and I will be your cheerleader. Without support, we tend to fall into old habits. I recognize that in myself. It’s a tough thing to realize that I don’t have the willpower to stay on top of this exercise thing.

Willpower can be depleted. Stress is the biggest reason for me. When I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I just can’t motivate myself to get things – anything – done. I’ve read other sources that say that willpower is like a muscle where it can be overused and need time to be replenished. What I need to do is find the balance in my life. Sounds like a lofty goal but it’s what I need to do. For me, I need to actively decide if I need to do something, what other thing do I not do. I can’t do it all. And I have to stop doing other things, like sitting on my keister and watching TV like a slug. I could read a book, play with the dogs, or exercise. (I just need to keep reminding myself.)

Now that I have cooled down, I need to eat dinner and feel human again. Food is a very important part of weight loss. (No kidding, you say.) But not just any food. Good food. Tasty food. Filling food. I don’t want to eat and then 10 minutes feel like I haven’t eaten. I’m not planning to eat just salads and bean sprouts. That’s just not enough food for me. I am going to find good meals that I will want to eat and will help me lose weight and provide the fuel to keep exercising.

Next – Putting it all together

Life Gets in the Way

Some people will call it a cop-out (do people still say that?) but life does get in the way of the best laid plans. I had every intention of coming home from work and getting on the treadmill. Well, I had a doctor’s appointment first, then when I did get home, I had a call that took about 40 minutes, and then I had to log back into work… But most importantly, a friend asked me to come to her house tonight. And more important than losing weight is being there for your friends and family. So I’m taking five minutes to post this and it’s off to see my friend.

I am serious about getting onto the exercise portion of the weight loss. I have changed my eating habits – no more random snacking or seeking out the last bit of junk food that might be hidden somewhere in the deep crevices of the pantry. The food I eat is going to be nutritious and tasty. And not all nutritious food is tasty. There’s the dilemma. I will definitely go into the food in another post.

The most important aspect of this new way of life is to take care of myself. In the process, I may have to adjust to circumstances but I need to make a conscious decision that my health is important. Stop talking the talk; start walking the walk. On that note, I have a date with a treadmill tomorrow after work. No matter what!

Off to help a friend – maybe we will do something physical and I can call it my workout for today!