I took a well-deserved vacation. I did what I wanted, ate what I wanted, and had a wonderful time. I did gain 3.5 lbs. but I feel better than before I left. For me, it was worth it.

Being away from the stress of everyday life gave me time to reflect on what I was doing wrong that blocked my weight loss. It’s not like I have all the answers but it is easier to think through things when you are not in your own way. Getting out of the routine of working all day, coming home to exercise, and eating specific foods helped me process on what I’m doing wrong. I wasn’t happy.

Happiness is a key ingredient to being successful in life. I know that rationally but haven’t been able to translate that in my daily life. I have felt let down for a long time and it’s time for me to take my life in a different direction. There is so much to check that I need to break it down into manageable pieces so I don’t overwhelm myself.

I can only change things under my control. So I need to start with me – everything else will fall into place (that’s what I hope). I can’t change things that I don’t the ability to change so I have to learn to let it go. Even when I know I may have the right idea or a better plan, if I’m not the one who can make the change, it’s not going to happen. Tough lesson for me to learn. It seems so simple in words but it’s so difficult (for me) in action. I always have a “plan”. But not everyone wants to buy into my plans.

Starting today, my first goal is not to waste time doing things that are not productive. Even if I am not in charge, I can decide to do what is most productive for me. It’s not productive to wallow in the “misery” of being overweight. I can be overweight and be healthy. I just need to make it happen. If I lose weight while I’m getting healthy, good for me. If not, I will be a better person in the long run. That’s hard for me to accept because of the body image I have of myself but it’s the first step.

First things first, then small steps to a better me.

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