September | 2013 | It's Time To Lose Weight

I spent my afternoon visiting yet another doctor, this time, a D.O. (Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine). Apparently, I have arthritis in my hips and spine and it’s now causing me pain. Doctor’s solution – exercise. So I may not be able to allow myself excuses anymore.

So I’ve let myself become worse off than I was before I started this journey. Not that it wouldn’t have happened anyway. It just could have been easier on me if I had followed my original goals. Now I’m going to be “forced” into doing what I have needed to do all along – exercise with intent. How’s that for a wake up call.

I thought blogging about losing weight would make me more likely to actually work on it. But I was fooling myself. I’ve let myself risk my health and wellness by making excuses. How dumb is that? Now my body is forcing me into a place where I can’t allow that health risk to rob me of a full life. I’m not willing to let my health slow me down to the point where I can’t walk or need help walking. That will just make me feel OLD! And old is the last thing I want to be – at least not now.

There are too many thing that I have left to do. I want to travel and see the world. How awful would it be that I let my body breakdown to the point where I can’t get around to see the places I want to see. That is a wake up call. Generally, people don’t realize what they have until they lose it. I have an opportunity to help make things better by following doctor’s instructions. Is this the kick in the butt I needed? I sure hope so. I hate failing at something I should be able to be successful on my own.

After the MRI, X-rays, and physical therapy I will be able to judge the extent of the damage not exercising has caused. I’m hoping for the best.

I finally had to face it – I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my weight loss. Yesterday was my anniversary. I spent a lovely day with my husband. At the end of the day, I decided to broach the subject of my weight. I feel disgusted with myself for wasting nine months of the year without losing any weight. I know it’s my fault. I’m not many excuses. But I am asking for help.

My dear sweet husband, who loves me the way I am, understands how this torments me. He gently points out that I don’t push myself. And he’s right. I don’t. It’s not that I don’t want to work at it but I just don’t have whatever it is to make me stay on track. If I don’t get feedback – lose a pound or feel better – I end up making excuses and set myself up for failure. What will make me take that final plunge into dedication to diet and exercise?

His plan – to workout with me and push my limits where I won’t do it myself. I am wary of it because I don’t want to cause any problems between us. Am I just kidding myself that he can help me where I can’t help myself? I have to be willing to listen and follow his lead without the excuses. I want to replace the “I’m too tired” with “I’m ready for the next set”. But I’ve got to find the motivation and that’s where I hope he can help.

I have talked about meals and exercise but I am not doing what I should do – follow through. This is a painful cycle I put myself through. I knew when I started out writing about this that I had been down this road before. I had hoped putting it into words would force my hand. But apparently not. So here’s where I use trust. The one person in the world that I trust the most is going to get the test of a lifetime. I hope he’s up to it!