Low Carb Leads the Way

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I have kept quiet on my latest attempt at losing weight until I had evidence to report. I started on a the induction phase of the Atkins diet. It’s based on a low carb intake to help burn fat. I had tried this diet years ago with my oldest daughter. She had tremendous success. I didn’t weigh anything near what I weigh today. Now I have a more serious need to lose weight.

I started last week on the low carb diet. I have an old paperback copy of the Dr. Atkins New Diet Revolution. I began to reread it and recalled that first dieting experience was moderately successful. My husband and I spent all Sunday preparing  meals for the week. We cooked food based on the recipes from the Atkins diet plan. In order for me to stay the course, I need easily accessible food. With everything ready, I can grab what I want for a meal without having to cook.

It wasn’t an easy task, it took about 6 hours of the day to complete the meals but they have lasted the week and we may get two or three more days of meals from them.  So know you’re wondering, was it worth it? It was worth all the effort. I’ve eaten only the allowed food for the induction phase and have not felt hungry at all this week. Plus, I have lost a total of 6.5 pounds in one week. This is so different for me to be able to lose weight without struggling with severe calorie restrictions or exercising until I feel like I’m going to die. I have eaten food that tastes good, is good for me, and I feel better.

With a BMI over 30 and a goal of losing 30 pounds, I think my need for the Atkins diet is greater than ever before. I’m going to complete the induction phase for the full two weeks and then see if I need to move on to the phase or repeat the first. One more week will tell.

Working My Way Back

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Back to the treadmill, to walking indoors, light weight training and whatever else I can manage. I’ve been able to keep up workouts for a couple of days a week. Work is less stressful so I am feeling better at the end of a day. Coming home and strapping on tennis shoes doesn’t feel like such a chore. That’s the good part.

Why does it take so long to get in shape and so little time to lose any benefits once exercising stops? I know it takes weeks to build up the good feelings from exercise. Each time I begin I want to stop. I hate the feeling of tiring myself out. Muscles fatigue and total exhaustion always go with the start of an exercise plan. I need to push myself through this point. I start down the path with every intention to work my way towards that feeling of euphoria when exercise takes you over the top. I’ve never gotten there so I am hoping I recognize it if/when it happens.

Back to food journal entries on a regular basis, reading the Jillian Michaels emails with some intention of trying to follow the wisdom of her advice; back to weigh ins and treadmill routines. Back to committing myself to making my life better. I have wasted a year trying to talk myself into doing this – now I have to do it.

Life is short. Health is precious. I need to place a value on those words and make it part of my everyday thinking and living the life I should. I have been my own worst enemy in the battle of weight loss. I’ve allowed myself too many excuses, too many ways to opt-out of making changes. IT’s up to me and only me. If I don’t work my way back to healthier habits, it’s just not going to happen. I’ve proven that time and time again.

I’m trying to work my way back…

Stress Is My Enemy

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After the long month of holidays followed by surgery for my husband and then my dog, it has been pretty stressful. On top of everything else, I had been searching for a new job. The job interviews and the anxiety of waiting to hear the response had pushed me to the edge of my stress limit. But I’m over the other side – I started my new job today.

I admit that I don’t handle stress very well. Once I stop keeping a food journal it was all down hill. I hit the bottom when I realized that I was making donuts. I don’t know how I thought being gluten-free donuts were somehow going to make it better. Vicious cycle now full circle.

I spent the day moving – emptying boxes, climbing up and down putting away items in a far too high overhead cabinet, and going between the old office and the new one. It’s a full ten minute walk each way which I made at least three times roundtrip. Now I need to keep that momentum up every day. I’ve enlisted a friend to walk with me. Now we need to keep each other on track.

I’m looking forward to finally having a job that provides me with intellectual stimulation without the undue stress that I’ve put up with for the last ten years. Having to work at a job that creates an unhealthy atmosphere and doing the least challenging tasks was a nightmare for me. Having a new boss that encourages his staff to continue to grow and get better and not just be a follower is a breath of fresh air. There are far too many bosses who are hung up on power and control. Doing things their way is more important than doing it the right way or even a better way.

It’s a new beginning for me. Less stress, more exercise, and healthy eating are my goals.

 

Motivation and Energy

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I’m not complaining but it can be tiring to be a caregiver. My husband is getting better but still can’t do everything for himself. My dog has bounced back with the energy of a pup. I wish I was so resilient. I lack energy and that has caused the motivation to decline.

I have managed to keep off the first five pounds. That alone is a major achievement when I can’t stay focused on diet and exercise. I have cut my calories back enough to keep from gaining weight but I need to get motivated again to keep up the exercise level. I manage to get in some floor exercises but the cardio is a lot harder to do. How can you spend energy you don’t have? This seems to be a never-ending circle.

I am practicing some techniques that are serving me well. If I eat out for lunch, I cut my portion in half from the start and only eat the half portion. I take the second half for another meal. That’s helping me cut calories each meal. I’ve also tried using a smaller plate when I eat. The portion control is working well. Now I need to rev up my metabolism and burn some calories.

I hope when the patients no longer need me as much I will be able to get enough energy to exercise more vigorously. I’m not letting myself slack on what I do. I still try to do what I can until I feel muscle fatigue. But there is a limit to what I can do until the exhaustion takes over and I feel like I need a nap. Well, I take a nap. I hope that doesn’t undo the benefits of the exercise!

The time will come and I will get back the motivation and energy to get this weight off. I promise that to myself.

 

When It Rains It Pours

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Once I decided to get back on track, there’s always something that tries to derail me. This past week, my husband had surgery. Tomorrow, one of my dogs is having surgery. As a caregiver, my thoughts are primarily focused on the “patient’s” care. That’s a sure path to falling off the road to weight loss.

There’s the 24-hour medication routine that sends your body into a sleep deprived cycle. Then there’s the ice therapy, bathing, dressing, etc. Getting up every few hours throughout the night for weeks at a time is one way for your body to fail at losing weight. Not enough sleep and your body starts to hold calories to make it through the rough period. I’ve decided that nothing is going to keep  me from losing this weight so I am trying different tactics to combat the pitfalls.

I’ve tried to make decent meals each day so that we both get solid nutrition. But that’s only one piece. If I’m not getting enough sleep, that’s only going to keep me from feeling weak. Napping has become a good friend. When you are too tired to take care of someone else, you are certainly too tired to take care of yourself. So I succumb to the call for sleep when I need it. I keep my iPhone set with an alarm for the next time medication needs to be given so I don’t miss it but I am managing to rest.

I think combining resting and eating right, although the temptation is to eat whatever you want when you’re focus is on someone else, has helped me stay the course. I’ve lost another two and a half pounds. It all counts!

How it will be taking care of a dog who cannot lick their incision in addition to the other patient, only time will tell…

What’s Going On?

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If you’re wondering where I have been and what I have done, here’s the scoop. I had a case of serious holiday blues. I know many people find it difficult to handle the holidays but I couldn’t get a grip on things for a while. Starting around Thanksgiving, my mood plummeted. I had trouble coping with every day life. And knowing that the holidays were coming whether I was ready or not made it worse.

I did speak to my therapist. She’s been my confidante since the early 1990’s when I was going through a bitter divorce. She probably knows me as well as anyone. Realizing that there was nothing I could do to change the circumstances of the situation (very long story), I had to do something quickly or be sucked under by the wave of depression that was threatening to drown me.  Then I read a quote by Lao Tzu:

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

Believe it or not, that simple quote helped me put things into perspective. I had lived in the past – all the losses and hurt that were pressing in on my mind. I needed to let go and live in the present. It was not an easy thing to do. I still miss those people who are no longer here – family and friends – but I need to honor their memories and move on. I need to let go of the pain from being separated from my children (part of the long story). Wherever they are and whatever they do, I am here to support and love them.

That led me to believe again that I could lose weight once more. On Christmas Eve, I made the pledge to start counting calories and exercising – like I should have done all year long. No sense in living in the past. I’ve been at it now for six days and I’ve lost 2.5 pounds. It’s a start. A new start for me.

Happy Thanksgiving

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I wish everyone who celebrates the American tradition of Thanksgiving a very happy holiday. I am taking this day to reflect. Today I have not indulged in overeating or eating anything that I will regret tomorrow. I have taken today off from celebrating while I hope everyone else has that holiday feast they enjoy.

It’s not that I am against Thanksgiving and the excessive amounts of food that everyone seems to think is necessary to have a good time. I just didn’t want to take part this year. There is much I have to be thankful for – a loving husband, a warm house to keep me comfortable in the cold weather, my two dogs who love me unconditionally – especially when I have food. It’s just that this year, I need to discover who I am. I’ve not figured it out after 58 years.

From an early age I have enjoyed eating. But as I got older, food became my friend. Now it is poised to be my enemy. I struggle with the need to eat to live but I want to live to eat. After years of losing the battle with my weight, my body has turned against me in other ways. Eating certain foods now brings discomfort instead of satisfaction. Wheat makes my stomach feel like I’ve swallowed a brick. Milk products make me feel bloated and gassy. Feeling lousy after eating foods that used to be comfort foods doesn’t work for me.

I think my obsession with food has been my cover up for feelings of loss – physically and emotionally. Now that I have had almost a year to deal with my thoughts in writing, I realize my relationship with food isn’t physically or emotionally healthy. Why am I relying on a piece of chocolate or a scoop (or two) of ice cream to make me feel better? The sad truth is that I have not addressed what is making me turn to food for comfort. I need to find a way to be thankful for the other parts of my life that make me happy and start to release those uncomfortable feelings that hold me to overeating and inertia.

I hope that next year that I will be thankful for the clarity of thought that eliminates food as a source of comfort.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Physical Therapy to Fix a Broken Body

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It’s been three weeks of physical therapy. Minor successes have occurred but not enough to get me back in a full exercise routine. Three vertebrae refuse to behave. The muscles are loosening up and my ability to rotate side to side has increased. But I’m still “broken”.

What is good is that I am doing specific exercises to work through the back issues. This means that no less than three times a week, I’m exercising my body. That’s a step in the right direction. I thought exercise was hard enough for me but trying to do it when your body is not functioning at 100% is much more difficult. I have great physical therapists who give me great care. What I need is a body that is willing to heal faster.

One week, I actually felt a disc move in a way felt good and relieved pain. So I’m all on board with doing what the physical therapists tell me what to do. Having that immediate physical response to their treatment has made me a believer. What is more important is that they are looking at a long-term solution to keep me from hurting myself again.

To have others look at you and care about what you are going through is healing in its own way. After ever session, I come away feeling a bit better, even if only mentally. Even if it’s only my impressions, I feel that the therapists have “healing hands”. They work carefully and deliberately trying to make the things not working to respond. I think that kind of therapy has multiple ways of healing.

I’s important for me to remind myself that I will be on my own in a few weeks to keep up the momentum. I can’t fall back into my old ways. That’s what go me here. If I don’t commit now, I never will.

Three more weeks of physical therapy will tell the tale if this body can heal and get stronger.

Physical Therapy

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The MRI revealed a band of muscle holding three vertebrae in place. That means they are not moving independently so I have pain when I try to move that area. So I started physical therapy. This will be the beginning of conditioning my body to get back on track. Once I conquer that stubborn back muscle and force it to release the hostage vertebrae, I would be foolish not to continue exercising.

That’s what got me into this predicament in the first place. My priorities were out-of-place. I put work first instead of me. If I had considered that exercising was more important than that time I spent working off-site, I wouldn’t be in pain. Standing in one place for hours at a time without giving my body recovery from the strain on my back has taken its toll.

I have done my physical therapy exercises, at the therapist’s insistence, every other day. My muscles need time to relax after being worked out very specifically. The exercises aren’t hard but they are difficult because I’ve let my body get to the lowest point of inactivity. How did I let such a great idea as trying to lose weight go to waste? I’m working my way back and once I get there, I’m going to keep moving forward.

That’s a lot of talk until I actually do it. But feeling the way I do – struggling to cross my legs and lean forward on a chair – made me realize that I am not doing myself any favors. I’m going to work at this as hard as I can for as long as I can. Sitting in front of a computer for eight hours a day and then coming home and sitting for more hours have not served my health and well-being.

I’m off to do my “bridges” and “leg crosses” to strengthen my back muscles. More to come.

Gluten-Free Sites

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One of the best thing about One Dish Cuisine, the local gluten-free restaurant, is that the owner tries to help people with allergies eat right. She provides a list of sites that are provide gluten-free information and apps that help find gluten-free restaurants.

The best thing about eating gluten-free is how the body processes the food so much better. ‘Nuff said. I can really feel the difference when I don’t eat gluten-free. Food sits heavy on my stomach. Sometimes if I eat wheat, I feel like there’s a lead weight in my stomach. My energy seems to lag and I generally feel lethargic.

I’m not saying that eating gluten-free will be the cure for everyone. But if you feel poorly after eating any type of processed food, grains that have been stripped of their nutrients (like regular white bread), then you should try just two weeks gluten-free. Clear your system of all gluten products – you’ll be surprised how many there are. Then eat gluten-free for the trial period. See if you don’t feel better, even if it’s just the intestinal relief.

I’m fortunate enough not to be Celiac but if you don’t know if you are, ask your doctor to test you. It’s just a blood test but it’s worth knowing to help yourself feel better. Food is such an important part of our lives. We have to eat to survive so we might as well enjoy it.

Now my challenge is to balance my enjoyment of food (because I love to eat) with the reality that I need to eat less and exercise more.